I'm actually de-lurking, someone check the temperature in hell

[roseargent]

So, yeah. I'm Rose. I used to write a lot, then I hit a major dry spell in around 2005ish when my health took a nosedive. I wrote nothing at all, except for small RP-related things, until 2009; since then I only manage to produce two or three exchange fics a year, and very occasionally one or two promptfest-type things. I have a million ideas (okay, a couple hundred) but mostly they stay ideas.

My main problem is, unfortunately, ongoing issues with fatigue/brainfog/lack of spoons, which is not something anyone can really help with.

My other problems are:

1. I'm a hermit who has bunnies almost exclusively for either really tiny fandoms, weird pairings, dark/squicky content, or my personal favourite ALL OF THE ABOVE. So I don't really know anyone canon-knowledgeable to help me get unstuck, in most cases.

2. I keep wanting to completely review canon before I write anything. Too bad I have a few dozen fandoms I want to write in, and some of them are 80+ hour JRPGS. *cough* Obviously this is not a practical thing to do! I need to get past the need to be "perfect" in terms of canon details. (Except for exchange fics. I will continue to review canon every time for those because they are for other people and not myself-and-whoever-else-happens-to-read-it).

Comments

[chordatesrock]

Do you think it might help to refresh yourself on only the relevant bits of canon, and to find shortcuts? Like, if you want to write about Aerith, can you look up the FF7 script and ctrl+F "Aerith" to check that you're not missing anything about her, but not actually replay FF7 and watch however many sequels it has now?

Also, even though it's unlikely I know any of your fandoms, I'm willing to be a rubber ducky, if that would help. I know I do better when my rubber ducky answers back, even if it's just to say "huh, that sounds odd" or "wait, remind me how these characters know each other", so if it helps you to have a live rubber ducky...

[roseargent]

Unfortunately, when I say my fandoms are mostly very small I ain't kidding. A lot of them don't even have a decent wiki, much less an English script online. And when it comes to anime and manga, I don't know that I've ever seen anyone make a searchable version of the text available. I try to take notes on which chapters/episodes are important when I remember... but that's not as often as I'd like, since I tend to get caught up in enjoying whatever it is I'm watching/reading/playing.

And I appreciate the offer! But I really want to stress the whole "dark/squicky content" thing. ^^;

[chordatesrock]

Hmm. I once went through someone's YouTube walkthrough of a game series indexing it so I could go straight to the parts featuring any particular character or setting, and I recommend that if you're going to be doing a lot of partial refreshes on the same canon and if it's up on YouTube, but that's a lot of ifs.

See, "dark/squick" doesn't tell me whether I wouldn't be willing to rubber-ducky it. Every now and then I write what I consider a fairly normal to slightly darkish piece and learn that, nope, there's no slightly about it. But then I'm not the person to rubber-ducky, say, porn, even if it's not what most people would consider a squick, so. If the issue is that everyone is evil, traumatized, dying gorily, or some combination thereof, then meh, especially if you're making some actual point and not just going "lookit! I'm not like those wussy writers who let their characters survive!"

[roseargent]

Yeah, "Let's Play" type things can be helpful in some cases for video games, though generally not for the reeeeeally obscure ones. And even then, as you say, it's a bit of a crapshoot. Plus video games only make up less than a third of my fandoms.

Hmm, well, I can't say I write for either of those reasons, really. I don't tend to expect many other people to read anything I post, so it's not that I have a point to make for good or ill. I just write what is interesting to me, but what is interesting to me tends to overlap significantly with what is scary/disturbing to me. As to the content... I wouldn't say porn, because I'm less interested in the anatomy than in the feelings/reactions, but kink for sure. Loooooots of consent issues, of all kinds and degrees. Regardless of whether it's a good match, though, thank you for offering!

[jordannamorgan]

*laughs* I'm a hermit too. The fandom I'm most active in is large, but it just so happens that I love the most unpopular canon version and pairings in the franchise. :Þ

On the upside, since nobody else will write good fanfiction about the things I love in my fandom, that motivates me to do it myself. I don't know if that kind of perspective would help anyone else, but it does for me.

[roseargent]

Oh, I actually quite agree with you that "no one else is going to write it" is great motivation. But where I run into trouble isn't motivation, it's needing someone to bounce ideas off when I get stuck and am unsure how to get from point B to point C.

[jordannamorgan]

Yeah, I guess it does take someone familiar with the canon to do that. I generally hash out my various random ideas with a friend, and only start writing anything when I have it fully mapped out.

[silverflight8]

I hear you on the need to be perfect thing for fic. Sometimes it helps me to take a step back and think about well, there is so much fic out there, so much fiction in general, so many people producing stuff, people having fun even with small drabbles and 500 flashfic and I used to enjoy just getting a fic out and posting right after. And it wasn't maybe my 10000% or anything, but fun, you know? And that is an end itself. No pressure: no one is depending on you to produce The Perfect Fic, not even exchange participants. (Even though that is totally my mindset when I'm writing, haha.) In the end, it's better to have made something than nothing, is how I try to think of it.

[roseargent]

I've always had issues with putting more pressure on myself than anyone else puts on me; it's totally internal. I am trying to get past it! I think my very low output is part of the problem--I have so little energy to devote to fic, I get in a rut thinking that when I do use some of that energy on something it has to be on something "worthy."

It was definitely a lot different when I was more prolific. Oh, lord, looking back at some of my old stuff makes me criiiinge.

[lassarina]

As I recall, we share at least one tiny fandom, and I'm willing to be a sounding board for it if you'd like. (Hi.)

(I also am in small-fandom hell a lot of the time.)

[roseargent]

We do! But I think most of my ideas for Magna Carta: ToB are terribly idfic-y Agreian/Calintz things that may never see the light of day. Partly because it's been ages since I played it but the thought of replaying that broken game after having played the much-less-broken Magna Carta 2... I'll get around to it eventually, but it could be a while. Such great characters. Such terrible, terrible gameplay. :P

Ah, small-fandom hell. I entered freely and of my own free will, not once but dozens of times. I must be in the ninth circle by now.

[lassarina]

Ah, but there is a full script out there for ToB. ;) You wouldn't think there is, but there is.

Also idfic-y Agreian/Calintz is very relevant to my interests.

[roseargent]

Oh, that's right! There is! I had forgotten about that. It seems like if the game is PS-era or older, it's more likely there is a script, at least IME. I'd still like to replay it sometime, but yeah, that's very helpful.

Some of Agreian's post-reveal lines (I am trying not to inadvertantly spoil anyone else) just... nngh. (Apparently all of my Calintz icons are at LJ, hmm).

[lassarina]

Yes. Yes, I know just the ones you mean and I emphatically approve this notion. XD

(I don't mean to be annoying, by the way! I just will always encourage more fic for this fandom.)

[roseargent]

No, not annoying at all! MC: ToB is one of those fandoms where it's always a pleasant surprise to find out someone else has even heard of it. I'm just very conscious of the fact that I tend towards darkfic and consent issues, and while I have zero guilt about that at this stage in my life, I try to be very careful about not foisting it on others. ^_^

[lassarina]

Well. I am generally not opposed to either of those things, so I reiterate my offer of sounding board. :)

[roseargent]

I will definitely take you up on that. Not right away, I need to re-read the script and whatnot, but, at some point for sure. ^_^