Finishing Fics... Finally

This is a really interesting idea, thank you! I hadn't even thought of playing with expectations vs. reality because I kind of had it in my head that he doesn't have specific expectations (on account of never having seen magic, like you mentioned) but it makes much more sense for him to have some (horrifying and wildly exaggerated!) expectations based on what he's heard. After all, things that are shameful/illegal are always the target of inappropriate drunk jokes, and I'm sure he's heard a few of those. (I totally appreciate your shamelessness, btw.)